I had a very productive and interesting weekend. Saturday I went and played pool(and won 4-3 --- go, me!) and then went out for a couple of beers with a friend. While I was out, enjoying my drink I ran into a guy I knew. Actually “knew” is a bit of an exaggeration. We spent around 2 weeks together, 4 years ago. No contact since. Honestly, I had a hard time remembering his name. Anyway, we said hello and he sat at my table. Of course we had nothing to talk about. I doubt we had that many things to talk about 4 years ago but I was young and stupid. Well, we exchange maybe 3 or 4 lines and then he announces that I have “lost my principles as well”. Huh? So we come to the land of highly inappropriate comments or at least highly idiotic or annoying .(By the way I still have no clue what he meant).
1.Comments that irk me the most: the why am I single ones. Dear Lord, it seems that every human being on this planet is concerned with my dating status. Seriously. The best one ever? I was 17 at the time.
Old neighbor lady: “So, are you married yet?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
Onl(looking very sad): “At least engaged?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
Onl: “Oh you poor thing. You must meet my nephew. He just got out of prison but he’s a really nice young man.”
I fled. Did I mention I was 17? Even without the creepy nephew comment is it so weird to not be married at 17?I’ve been avoiding the woman ever since. The one good thing that came out of that conversation? That now I usually shut up people that ask me why I’m not married(and the frequency of these questions has increased since then) by saying “I’m waiting for my fiancé to get out of prison.” Of course, the “I’m a lesbian” works wonders as well. But I can’t say that to my family so I just ignore them. I particularly despise the sympathetic look and pat on the back “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone too.”. I am a much better person then I thought I was when I didn’t jump at the throat of the person. I do not guarantee the same restraint the next time. And just to be safe, for the family wedding I have to attend this year, I’ll wear a “I might be single but at least I’m not married to your husband” t-shirt. Or get a temporary tattoo that says that.
2. I am not a child person. I’ve never been one. If the kid in question is extremely well behaved and over the age of 3 I might go near him or her but even then I probably won’t spend more then a few minutes. If the kid is a brat, get him away from me or I will and it won’t be pretty. If I can lift my dog I can lift your kid and get him away from me by any means. If I am at store I’m probably pissed enough that I have to be there without your screaming offspring running around, messing with my stuff. Put him on a leash for all I care. Ok, back to my point. If I comment something like “Get your screaming beast away from my stuff”(I’ll probably phrase it better because I do have some manners, surprisingly enough) I want you to control it or get a babysitter next time. What I do not want is to hear “Well, what would you do if it was your kid?”. Ship him off to ‘Nam. Good enough for you? If I am somewhere where there are the with-child family members I’ll shut up and endure, as long as the beasts don’t touch me. I’m not a touchy person and if a kid does it I will be mad. Nope, I don’t think it’s time for a hug. And, nope, I don’t care if you extend your hands for me to pick you up. I won’t but maybe you’ll grow taller from trying. Please, parents of the beast don’t ask me what would I do if it were mine. That pretty much guarantees my calm flying off the window and a very nasty reply following.
1.Comments that irk me the most: the why am I single ones. Dear Lord, it seems that every human being on this planet is concerned with my dating status. Seriously. The best one ever? I was 17 at the time.
Old neighbor lady: “So, are you married yet?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
Onl(looking very sad): “At least engaged?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
Onl: “Oh you poor thing. You must meet my nephew. He just got out of prison but he’s a really nice young man.”
I fled. Did I mention I was 17? Even without the creepy nephew comment is it so weird to not be married at 17?I’ve been avoiding the woman ever since. The one good thing that came out of that conversation? That now I usually shut up people that ask me why I’m not married(and the frequency of these questions has increased since then) by saying “I’m waiting for my fiancé to get out of prison.” Of course, the “I’m a lesbian” works wonders as well. But I can’t say that to my family so I just ignore them. I particularly despise the sympathetic look and pat on the back “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone too.”. I am a much better person then I thought I was when I didn’t jump at the throat of the person. I do not guarantee the same restraint the next time. And just to be safe, for the family wedding I have to attend this year, I’ll wear a “I might be single but at least I’m not married to your husband” t-shirt. Or get a temporary tattoo that says that.
2. I am not a child person. I’ve never been one. If the kid in question is extremely well behaved and over the age of 3 I might go near him or her but even then I probably won’t spend more then a few minutes. If the kid is a brat, get him away from me or I will and it won’t be pretty. If I can lift my dog I can lift your kid and get him away from me by any means. If I am at store I’m probably pissed enough that I have to be there without your screaming offspring running around, messing with my stuff. Put him on a leash for all I care. Ok, back to my point. If I comment something like “Get your screaming beast away from my stuff”(I’ll probably phrase it better because I do have some manners, surprisingly enough) I want you to control it or get a babysitter next time. What I do not want is to hear “Well, what would you do if it was your kid?”. Ship him off to ‘Nam. Good enough for you? If I am somewhere where there are the with-child family members I’ll shut up and endure, as long as the beasts don’t touch me. I’m not a touchy person and if a kid does it I will be mad. Nope, I don’t think it’s time for a hug. And, nope, I don’t care if you extend your hands for me to pick you up. I won’t but maybe you’ll grow taller from trying. Please, parents of the beast don’t ask me what would I do if it were mine. That pretty much guarantees my calm flying off the window and a very nasty reply following.
Another one on the child subject. “When are you planning on having kids?” Hello, how is that your problem? Have you had some wine? ‘Cause I’m about to pour mine on your head. Or at least fantasize about it. What is this interest in my reproductive choices? Let’s go back to complaining that I’m single, m’kay? I’m convinced there is absolutely no way of answering this question. If I say I’m not married I’ll either offend an unmarried mom or ensure another when are you geting married conversation. If I saw I haven’t decided I’ll get the biological clock conversation. Did I mention I’m 20? By god, I only have a year or two left! If I say I don’t want kids…well, all Hell breaks lose. And then the other conversation that will get you ugly stares and curse words mumbled under my breath starts. “You’re too young to know what you want and you’ll change your mind.”. Let me get this right…I’m not to young to get married or have kids, but I’m too young to know what I want? Huh. Please keep your screaming children and children conversations away from me. If you’re that interested in nephews/cousins/child of absolutely no biological relation to you go badger my brother. He’s older, I’ll let him go first.
3. Comments that are meant to attract my sympathy. If you say something like “I want to kill myself” I will say “Ok” and go on doing what I did. What’s stopping you? If you really want to, you’re not going to discuss your choice with me. If you don’t then why bother me? “I had a bad day.” So did I. You’re a grown up, learn to deal. I frankly don’t care about the fact that you couldn’t find you favourite pencils at the store. I’ll listen only if I thing it has the potential to be used as a starting point for a short story or novel scene. And then I’ll just listen to the beginning and the start writing it in my mind while you babble. If you’re unhappy I suggest you find someone else to talk to. I can’t deal with other people’s unhappiness. I will be completely unimpressed if you cry. Will it offend you if I yawn? Ok, these are not idiotic comments. They just annoy me.
4. “You’ve been brainwashed by society because you like/don’t like x
thing.” I heard this about crocs. You know, the shoes. These shoes --->
3. Comments that are meant to attract my sympathy. If you say something like “I want to kill myself” I will say “Ok” and go on doing what I did. What’s stopping you? If you really want to, you’re not going to discuss your choice with me. If you don’t then why bother me? “I had a bad day.” So did I. You’re a grown up, learn to deal. I frankly don’t care about the fact that you couldn’t find you favourite pencils at the store. I’ll listen only if I thing it has the potential to be used as a starting point for a short story or novel scene. And then I’ll just listen to the beginning and the start writing it in my mind while you babble. If you’re unhappy I suggest you find someone else to talk to. I can’t deal with other people’s unhappiness. I will be completely unimpressed if you cry. Will it offend you if I yawn? Ok, these are not idiotic comments. They just annoy me.
4. “You’ve been brainwashed by society because you like/don’t like x
thing.” I heard this about crocs. You know, the shoes. These shoes --->Not directly addressed to me but on a message board. I’m sorry but I don’t think that I’ve been brainwashed because I happen to like or dislike something you dislike or like. If only that was the only time I’d heard it. But no, people seem to think that others are brainless goons just because of their taste. Apparently I’ve been brainwashed by society because I think “A clockwork orange” is one of the best movies ever made(I didn’t even dignify this one with a reply). I’ve been brainwashed because I think Picasso was brilliant(apparently, no one could ever like that thing). Countless times. Get a clue: people like various things. You can call me an idiot, I really won’t mind but don’t tell me I have a certain opinion because that’s what society taught me. And I still think Crocs are the ugliest things ever made.
5. Comments stating the obvious.
“You’re wearing black.”---nah, it’s yellow. Really, it’s yellow.
“You have long hair”--- I thought it took me a while to comb it but I just couldn’t figure out why. Thank you for informing me.
“You’re wearing boots in June.”--- And here I thought I had my Crocs on.
“It says x thing on your shirt.”---Sorry, I can’t read.
Unless there’s a point to the affirmation please refrain from sharing it with me. If there’s a point then make it quick.
5. Comments stating the obvious.
“You’re wearing black.”---nah, it’s yellow. Really, it’s yellow.
“You have long hair”--- I thought it took me a while to comb it but I just couldn’t figure out why. Thank you for informing me.
“You’re wearing boots in June.”--- And here I thought I had my Crocs on.
“It says x thing on your shirt.”---Sorry, I can’t read.
Unless there’s a point to the affirmation please refrain from sharing it with me. If there’s a point then make it quick.
That’s it for now. There are more, many, many more but these are the top 5. Silly people and their machines(don’t even ask where that came from). Or their mouths in this case. And on a completely unrelated side-note, I’ve been busy discussing the “Heroes” characters and spoilers lately so prepare yourselves for a very long list of likes and dislikes and a lot of speculating on the third volume.
1 comment:
how 'bout I just say I agree with about 99% of what u wrote there.Maybe except the sympathy part 'cause I tend to fall in that trap occasionally if it's someone close to me and I also tend to babble about something that really saddens or bothers me (because I do the same thing with my obsessions so I can't help it).
Oh and I hate those shoes(I didn't even know they were called Crocs)but then I hate most things that tend to appeal to women in terms of fashion because I'm one strange woman I guess.
Happily the general feeling around our family is : marriage = not important,mostly bad ; children = someday when u're bored and lived your life or if u really want one ; single = good,keeps u mentally stable or at least coherent.
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