I’m ok, you’re ok

Apparently posting about panic makes me extremely calm. My mind is weird that way. I have relaxed and actually gotten to enjoy the thought of moving and now I’m way too excited and I just want to go to sleep and wake up in August(because I have to get my residence permit and various other things). But until then I still have to enjoy the family visit next week. And trust me, enjoy is a big fat lie.

My family is…uh, let me find a nice way to put it. Mildly irritating. The particular bunch is really at the top of the annoyance scale. These people never got the idea of visiting in shifts or anything. Nope, if one comes, they must all come. This round there will be 4 of them. And I’m keeping my fingers crossed they don’t get any big ideas and bring the rest(the last time they visited they were 11). The reason for the visit…? To bring us the wedding invitation. What’s wrong with just mailing it? I seriously don’t need the honor of having to entertain the young couple for 3 days and I’d be more then satisfied with a mailed invitation(actually I’d be ecstatic with no invitation at all, but there is no way in hell I can escape the wedding). And of course I won’t be able to hide in my room because they’re family and we only see each other once or twice a year and wouldn’t it be a shame if they couldn’t talk to me because I was hidden under the bed? Oh, how would I live without the countless “But when are you getting married?” and “Are you at least dating someone, you pathetic single thing?” or the “But you don’t mind if we just use your computer, hogging it for hours and hours?” and “Do you really have to listen to the music you like? Don’t you have something else you really, really hate, but we don’t care because your music is rubbish and ours rules?”. As you can imagine, the comments in italic belong to me. I will need a lot of patience to get thru those days without killing anyone. And let’s not forget the fact that one of them is afraid of puppy. Yes, I know puppy is absolutely huge but he is the sweetest thing around(heck, compared to me he’s an angel) and would never bite anyone(don’t tell that to any thieves, ok? For any criminal reading this, puppy is a monster, a veritable killing machine). He doesn’t even go near people he doesn’t know(he doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that he’s got the upper hand there as he’s really, really big and has equally big teeth). But one of them is terrified of the dog that has never done anything to him and I will have to escort him very single damned time he goes outside, to prevent puppy from killing him. The other three love him and they’ll even try to play with him(which isn’t happening any time soon. They are not worthy enough to make it into puppy’s love circle. They do not know the super secret magic belly scratching techniques). No, I’m not obsessed with my gorgeous pooch, why would you think that(click here or just scroll down for his birthday video)? But back to complaining. I’m hoping I can distract them from asking personal questions with the “Look, I’m moving to England, want to talk about that instead of my love life?” maneuver and if that doesn’t work, imagining myself stabbing them with my fork, over and over again, until they bleed! I’m getting carried away here but these people deserve their own layer in hell. I’m sure I will have some interesting stories to tell after this visit. But no worries, I will be polite and let them listen to what they want(in the limit of what's on my computer, which isn't really that much to begin with) and I promise I'll try not to stab them with anything.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering about the title, I’ve taken a dare to give every post for a month the title of a Gilmore episode(no, I’m am not obsessed. Really I’m not. I am just…ok, I admit it, I’m obsessed).