Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Isn’t it pretty?

Also known as: Look, Addie is bored, I hate waiting and This girl has way to much time on her hands

As you can see, I changed the face of my blog again. I think it’s prettier this way. And I was bored. Since I woke up I had a very annoying conversation(the reason for my new rule), fixed the hole my idiot dog and his equally idiot dog-friend made in the fence and redesigned this. And had massive amounts of coffee. Oh, and took the picture that’s up in the title. And edited it. I need a hobby.

First things first: Do you like it, do you like it, do you like it? I’m very excited. I love it. I might even keep it for more then a month this time.

Next: I hate waiting! I am not genetically set up to wait. It drives me bonkers. I got around to finishing my university application and sent it yesterday and now I must wait. I hate waiting(in case I didn’t make myself clear earlier). It’s boring and boring and boring and a bit nerve wrecking. Anyway, wish me luck. You might get rid of me after all.

Third: I am not an idiot. The fact that I am a girl does not mean that I need to be treated like a child. Ok, this is an overreaction on my part but I was already mad and it didn’t help. I was fixing the fence. I literally had to hammer 4 nails. It’s not brain surgery. But my neighbour offered to help because…I’m a girl. It was nice of him but trust me, I can do it. I can very well take care of myself without the help of any night in shiny armour(or in this case a pair of jeans and a shirt). It’s not that hard and I am not a delicate little flower.

Fourth: Huh…no fourth.
Have a nice day.

Let’s establish a rule here

It’s a simple rule, really. Really simple. But you, idiot people which I’ve had the displeasure of meeting over the years must remember this very simple rule. Ready? Here goes:

You DO NOT get to ask for my opinion and then be offended by it.

I’m blunt. If you’ve known me for more then 3 seconds this becomes clear. I will present you with my honest opinion if you ask for it. This includes attesting the fact that those pants do indeed make you look fat, recreating a scene from Jackass is moronic and you are just being an idiot in general. I’ll be polite about it and refrain from saying something like “Why the fuck would you even consider doing such a thing, you ignorant cretin?” but make no mistake, I will tell you that it’s stupid. If you think you know me well enough to ask for my opinion on something you’d like to do or have already done, then don’t be offended when I tell you that you are wrong. Don’t huff, puff or stomp your feet because I will not give a damn. You are a grown-up, you wanted to see what I think, I told you that, deal with it. And, oh, by the way, don’t come crying to me when you have to deal with the mess you’ve created by doing the thing I already told you you shouldn’t do.

If you can understand that people will think differently then you do, thank you. You have my respect.

Monday, March 10, 2008

It’s so a word!

There was a cartoon somewhere that said something like “I can’t leave now, someone is WRONG on the internet!”

Truer words have never been spoken.

I spent almost 10 minutes today fighting with an idiot who could not see an elephant if it came and sat on its face. I refuse to attribute a gender to that thing or call it a person for that matter because that would mean we are the same species. Now…how did it come to this? I was having an interesting discussion with someone about A clockwork orange, V for Vendetta and 1984 and mentioned that there are other dystopian movies out there, as great as those. Then weed-brain came along with the comment “You mean utopian.” And all hell broke loose. Below is the conversation:

“You mean utopian.”
“No, I mean dystopian.”
“Actually I’m pretty sure you mean utopian…’cause, you know, dystopian is not a real word.”
“Dystopian is very much a real word. And characterizing the society in any of those movies as utopian makes absolutely no sense.”
<--- Please note that I refrained myself from calling it idiotic.
“Yes it does.”
“Nope, not really.”
“Well, why not?”
“Because Utopia is a perfect place, especially in it’s social, political and moral aspects. I am pretty sure there is no way you could ever consider any of the societies we were talking about utopian.”
“Whatever! But dystopian is still not a real word.”
<- Ah, the old "Whatever" line!
“Yes, it is. It is the antonym of utopian.”
“You made it up just to sound smart. It does not exist, you idiot!”
At this point I linked to Webster, where it indeed stated that it is a real word.
“It’s wrong.”
“Huh…thank god you came along and enlightened us then.”
“There is no need for sarcasm.”
“You called me an idiot. I think I am allowed to a little sarcasm, after I’ve proven you are wrong.”
“You haven’t proven anything!”
I again linked to Webster, as well as 4 more online dictionaries, all stating that it is a real word.
“You just can’t admit you’re wrong.”
“Nope. I can’t. That’s why I hacked into every one of those 5 websites and added it just so I can win a silly fight.”
“You’re all just idiots and mean, too!”


At this point I believe it ran for its mommy. It did make for quite a few laughs after it was over and our conversation was resumed. Also, I have taken the liberty to correct a few spelling errors. There is no hope left for the human kind.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

This is an ex-parrot

I have already established that some people are morons. I’ve also established that some people live under rocks and they never get out. I know people who have never seen Casablanca. I can understand that if you really, really hate black and white movies but still. I know people who have never seen A clockwork orange(actually I know many people who’ve never seen it). But what I found inexcusable is that some people have never even heard of Monty Python. This just makes me want to cry. How can you go thru life without ever at least hearing of Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Meaning of life? I have lost all fate in humanity. And for those of you who enjoy British comedy…here’s the ex-parrot skit. Enjoy. "There, it moved!"

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Movies I wanna see this year(and some you should too):

Since it’s March I decided that the time is right for a movie list, more precisely a “I want so see this” movie list. Some are serious, some I want to see just ‘cause they have the potential of being the next Gigli disaster. Yeah, I’m a masochist. In no actual order, here they are:

Love in the time of cholera
Why: I loved the book. Javier Bardem is hot, sweet and can act. For those of you who only saw him in No country for old men you should go rent Mar adentro and Carne tremula(directed by Amenabar and Almodovar, respectively). It has to be good.

El orfanato
Why
: A reviewer said that this movie reminded him of The others only more suspenseful and El Labirinto del Fauno, with a dose of realism. I don’t need more.

Sex and the city
Why: Well, I’m a girl. And a chick flick that has every chance of being incredibly bad is always worth seeing. ‘Cause let’s get serious…it would take a miracle to make that a good movie. And Mr. Big is hot.

The new Bond movie
Why
: Daniel Craig being Bond. Enough said.

Changeling
Why
: Angelina Jolie(plus a bunch of other actors including John Malkovich) in a movie directed by Clint Eastwood. Well, at least it’s got nothing to do with Ywo Jima.

X files
Why
: Because I am a geek and I loved the show.

Righteous kill
Why: Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together in a movie. Sounds good, right? Don’t get to excited it’s directed by the same guy who did “88 minutes” . It can go any way.

Star Trek
Why
: Because I am a geek.

The curious case of Benjamin Button
Why
: F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote the story. It has a great cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton. Directed by David Fincher(Fight Club, Se7en). This movie will either be a masterpiece or a piece of shit.

Indiana Jones
Why: Well, because, let’s be serious here: Everybody wants to see the Indiana Jones movie they’ve bee struggling to make for the past 19 years. And I wanna know the plot, dang it! Even if I have to suffer thru 2 hours of Shia LeBeouf.

That’s it, I think. There might be others but none I’m so overly excited by. Let’s hope they don’t screw up.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Bloody funk

Ok, I’ve complained before about my writing funk. Apparently the bloody fucker has decided that just killing all my inspiration just isn’t good enough so now I am in a complete and total funk that not even chocolate can cure. How sad is that? Jeebus, I want to punch something, hard and repeatedly. Or have some tequila. Hell, I’ll settle for anything as long as it’s remotely destructive. Now were did I put that “Postal Dude” game cd? Please, please, please inspiration, come back. You know how badly it sucks not to be able to write anything? That’s where my funk originated. Anything I write is utter rubbish and the person who said that there’s no such thing as writer’s block and that you just have to sit in front of the computer and write is a moron! I’d settle for strangling him. And all my ungrateful friends have decided to go on and have lives instead of listening to me cry(well, cry is a manner of speaking but you get the gist).
I need a hug and alcohol.
And since this post is entirely boring I was playing on a website and came across toy that did this out of the first paragraph(I promise it's entertaining):
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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Chapter 51

In which we talk about teacups and laptops

Hello, grasshoppers. The months of March is here and with it comes a new blog entry because, let’s face it, I know you all missed me. Right?…Right? Moving on. I am going to disclose a thing about myself: I love cups. Actually I love promotional cups that come in cute packs and are inscribed with a brand name. Oh, how boring life would be if I had to use the same cups every day. But it ain’t because the high-powers like promotions and giving away stuff so I now have in my hands a yellow Lipton cup. I can see the envy in your eyes. Who wouldn’t want such an amazing thing? It’s better then the holly grail, I tell you. Of course, with it came a lecture because “why did I have to take it out of the pack and use it?” Why, oh why did I even think that I could drink tea from a cup made for drinking tea? *gasps from the audience*. I’m a heathen. Lord help me, I’m going to strangle my mother one day.

Speaking of cups, I need a laptop. Can you see how I jumped from one thing to the other there? Neither can I but I was getting bored of saying “on to the next topic” and other variations on the same theme. But back to the laptop. I’ve discovered the necessity of me owning one. I mean it. I’ve been editing lately, as you all know, and since I cannot edit on the bed or in the chair next to my computer I must edit in my reading/editing/writing/mostly-used-as-a-hallway room. And when I edit I get these great(to be read as lame) ideas that I’d like to expand on but for that I have to move my ass all the way to the computer and write or use a notebook, both of which are simply undoable because I’m too lazy. Hence my urgent need for a laptop. And when I’m not editing I’ve started writing my very first and probably only because it’s driving me bonkers House fanfiction.

And since we’re on the subject of writing there’s a thing that’s been bugging me. I read a book in my troubled youth…let’s say 7 or 8 years ago. I cannot, for the life of me, remember what it’s called or who wrote it but I remember bits and pieces of the plot. It’s a book about an American guy who goes to a castle in Transylvania(I think-somewhere in Romania for sure- might have been near Brasov but I’m not betting any money on it) that belonged to his family and picks a chick up on the road. He’s very nice and normal but once he gets there he discovers his family were vampires or werewolves or something like that. Oh, and I think his name was Michael but he changed it to Mihai. And there’s a scene in an old creepy village and a church at night. Know what book I’m talking about? Well, if you do, please inform me because I’ve gone mental trying to remember. I'm not very sure of any of this, which makes my search even more difficult. I think it might be "Castle Dubrava"(the description is somewhat similar but there are many things which don't coincide-probably my fault 'cause, seriously now, it's been a long time). I'll add it to my look-for list.
But enough for now and let us resume our usual program, while I go make another cup of tea and drink it from my beautiful yellow Lipton cup.