Thank you for the happy thoughts

It's not enough that every time I try to read a paper there is an article about the failing economy and recession and whatnot. If it's not something about the 13 year old boy who had a daughter who might possibly not be his. Or the crazy lady that gave birth to the octuplets. All positive news. Cheerful and delightful. So cheerful in fact, they make me want to bang my head against a wall. Nooooo, that couldn't possibly be enough. You had to ruin this one for me too, didn't you?

The one I'm talking about is my monthly chemistry magazine. It's a fun read. Stem cell this, molecule that, bonding there, blah-blah whatever. Not today. I get home and my magazine is waiting for me neatly in the postbox. I go throw a load of laundry in the machine and settle with a cup of tea in the kitchen, ready to be educated.

And then I see it. One article about how BPA(found in plastic bottles) will give us cancer. And then we'll die. Next page. Lab accident kills student. Next page. PFCs(found in food packaging, pesticides, clothing and upholstery) will cause infertility, liver problems and then give us cancer so that we die. Apparently we can't even smoke pot anymore.* Because we'll get testicular cancer and die. **

With all these wonderful articles, no wonder I was wondering about the kitchen, mumbling something about cancer. Which prompted my lovely friends to steal my magazine away from me before I decided to join a nudist colony and never use plastic anything again or sit on furniture. And start smoking weed. At least that's once cancer I can't get.

*not that I do. I'm just making a point.
**as you can see, it was a completely invalid point. Because I don't have testes.
***Also, I am aware the BPA debate has been going on for ages. It's still as depressing. I think I might have to start “Good news and puppies” weekly magazine. Just to cheer the world up.

Sheesh...Next you're going to tell me that watching Heroes will cause me to get cancer. And then die.