I have 70 days more of THIS?

The madness is getting worse. Animals are starting to run away scared every time they hear her voice. The dog shivers in the farthest corner of the yard. And I can’t hide so I must deal with the mom-monster. Gawds!, help me survive.

You might have guessed from that paragraph that the insanity is getting a wee-bit out of hand at my house. I have 2 months and a week until I leave for England and already my mother has decided that I need to start buying things because ohmylord I’m moving in the middle of nowhere and how could they possibly have anything there? Of course, this is the same woman who came with me to college the first time around just to buy me pots and pans ‘cause what if pwecious needed them? Well, mom, pwecious could buy her own pots and pans, trust me on that. I get it, it’s the whole empty nest thing(although she’s never shown an interest in my life…can you say dysfunctional family?) but come on! In the past 7 days I have had the following conversations:

Mom: “I saw these beautiful towels at store today.”
Me: “Ok.”
Mom: “I was thinking we could go by next week and you can pick some.”
Me: “For what? I don’t care if they’re neon purple and have elephants on them.”
Mom: “But they’re for university and I thought…”
Me: *chocking on drink** “They’re for what?”
Mom: “For you to take away with you when you leave.”
Me: “Mom, I am not carrying towels with me 3000 kilometers!”

Two days later:

Mom: “I was at *different store** today and I saw these sheets…”
Me: *watching some TV program while half-listening “Uh-huh…”
Mom: “And I thought I could get you some but they had flowers on them and I didn’t know if you’d like them.”
Me: “I already have sheets I like, why would I need more?”
Mom: “Well, not for here, obviously, but for when you leave.”
Me: “Mom, I am not carrying sheets with me 3000 kilometers!”

Another day later:

Mom: “And I was thinking you could take my umbrella, since it’s really nice or maybe we could go look for another one you liked….”
Me: “Mom, I am not carrying an umbrella with me 3000 kilometers!”

You get the point, right? Well, apparently she didn’t because this morning we had this conversation:

Mom: “And next week you should really start looking for things you have to buy.”
Me: “And what exactly do I have to buy?”
Mom: “Well some notebooks, and pens, and maybe some paper clips but no, wait I can get you those from my office and…”
“Me: "MOM, I AM NOT CARRYING OFFICE SUPPLIES WITH ME 3000 KILOMETERS!!!”

And nope, this is not mom trying to spend more time with me. She is convinced that I need all these things(and lord knows what else).

Of course, we now also have the family joke about me taking the giant electric tea kettle with me…and I’m only have sure she’s joking.